Saturday, December 12, 2009
On the Beam
It is easy to fall off the beam when you have a young child. All beams: physical, mental, spiritual, artistic, logical. Getting back on requires a new kind of balance, a new center of gravity that helps you dangle one foot over the edge, with one eye on the beam your child occupies, far less conscious of your own position.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
A Blog about Writing, Art and Raising Kids
Sounds Like "Chan Choo"
“What do we say?” I ask
the two year-old whose
raising is my task.
He answers me in the cold
playroom, “Sit!” still
needing to be told
the magic word when
you want someone to follow
an order set as question.
His “pease” rings hollow
among the toys whose parts
I hope he doesn’t swallow.
I jump when he starts
for my naked desk
to practice his dark arts
on mousepad and blotter.
In my weary arms
he is slick as an otter,
barking, “Mine, mine”
at my hand and all he sees,
as all that was once the line
between me and them
disappears in sippy cups
and apothegm
about ways to change
a soggy diaper,
while not to estrange
myself from the tongue
I spoke before I was
devoured by my young.
the two year-old whose
raising is my task.
He answers me in the cold
playroom, “Sit!” still
needing to be told
the magic word when
you want someone to follow
an order set as question.
His “pease” rings hollow
among the toys whose parts
I hope he doesn’t swallow.
I jump when he starts
for my naked desk
to practice his dark arts
on mousepad and blotter.
In my weary arms
he is slick as an otter,
barking, “Mine, mine”
at my hand and all he sees,
as all that was once the line
between me and them
disappears in sippy cups
and apothegm
about ways to change
a soggy diaper,
while not to estrange
myself from the tongue
I spoke before I was
devoured by my young.
Where's the Machine?
How is it that computer placement can mean so much?
In our duplex bedroom apartment, we have two computers on the upper level (our offices), a desktop on our kitchen table, and two laptops that make the rounds. It's hard to spend time on the second floor, because that either takes us our of Bradley earshot or brings him upstairs where he demands we play with him instead of working on our computer. Downstairs we at least have a shot at keeping him amused for stretches of time (20-30 minutes) while we work. Of course if only one of us is home, the situation becomes even less manageable.
I used to try and sit on the floor with him, "playing," while sneaking minutes to type or read. Aside from the detrimental (to him and me) distraction, the challenge to get mental focus from zero to sixty in three seconds was enormous. Even with half-hour stretches of work, this is a huge problem.
A couple of months ago, I gave up trying to divide attention, and now save writing for the downstairs desktop, at times my wife takes Bradley out; for an hour or two at the upstairs desktop after Bradley goes down and before the customary midnight bedtime (which leaves barely enough hours to sleep before he wakes up between 7:30 and 8); and for the laptop when I am out of town or away at our summer property by myself, or, if I'm there with Denise and Bradley, for nighttime, when he's asleep and Denise also has work to do. (On the property we stay in a camper that has one small table, on which we set our two laptops back to back. Sometimes, one or both of us can sit on the deck and write, but with Bradley loose on two acres, this isn't a great option.)
So, where and how do you work and watch you kids at the same time? Do you? How have you arranged your living space to combine or separate work and child-rearing?
In our duplex bedroom apartment, we have two computers on the upper level (our offices), a desktop on our kitchen table, and two laptops that make the rounds. It's hard to spend time on the second floor, because that either takes us our of Bradley earshot or brings him upstairs where he demands we play with him instead of working on our computer. Downstairs we at least have a shot at keeping him amused for stretches of time (20-30 minutes) while we work. Of course if only one of us is home, the situation becomes even less manageable.
I used to try and sit on the floor with him, "playing," while sneaking minutes to type or read. Aside from the detrimental (to him and me) distraction, the challenge to get mental focus from zero to sixty in three seconds was enormous. Even with half-hour stretches of work, this is a huge problem.
A couple of months ago, I gave up trying to divide attention, and now save writing for the downstairs desktop, at times my wife takes Bradley out; for an hour or two at the upstairs desktop after Bradley goes down and before the customary midnight bedtime (which leaves barely enough hours to sleep before he wakes up between 7:30 and 8); and for the laptop when I am out of town or away at our summer property by myself, or, if I'm there with Denise and Bradley, for nighttime, when he's asleep and Denise also has work to do. (On the property we stay in a camper that has one small table, on which we set our two laptops back to back. Sometimes, one or both of us can sit on the deck and write, but with Bradley loose on two acres, this isn't a great option.)
So, where and how do you work and watch you kids at the same time? Do you? How have you arranged your living space to combine or separate work and child-rearing?
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Posts on Creating Art and Raising Child(ren) Welcome
This blog welcomes all of your posts and comments on the topic. Call it one pathway to sanity and maybe productivity.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Bradley in Florida
My son Bradley, two and a half, a thirty-three-inch-high, acrobatic, high-energy, bundle of sheer will, is back in Florida, whence he came to us in October 2008. My wife and I are parents in our forties, both professors and writers. I have been publishing for over twenty years, and had just begun to achieve some success when Bradley arrived. In other words, I hit that crucial point in the career when writers grow or slowly disappear.
I'm here in Florida with Bradley, giving my wife time to do research on the Italian Americans of Tampa, her current subject. This little vacation follows a ten-day solo stint on my little place in Upstate New York, during which I was able to keep my own schedule and write as much as I pleased. In that short time, I finished more work than I had in the previous nine months, including a short story owed an editor, the first chapter of a cookbook, and the last portion of a story that will round out a small collection of "Pope Stories." That's the reality.
I'm going to blog for a little while on putting writing out of my mind for a while, the adjustment to that, and strategies for getting back to it on Bradley's schedule, not mine.
Please join in.
I'm here in Florida with Bradley, giving my wife time to do research on the Italian Americans of Tampa, her current subject. This little vacation follows a ten-day solo stint on my little place in Upstate New York, during which I was able to keep my own schedule and write as much as I pleased. In that short time, I finished more work than I had in the previous nine months, including a short story owed an editor, the first chapter of a cookbook, and the last portion of a story that will round out a small collection of "Pope Stories." That's the reality.
I'm going to blog for a little while on putting writing out of my mind for a while, the adjustment to that, and strategies for getting back to it on Bradley's schedule, not mine.
Please join in.
On Writing and Raising a Kid (I won't call it "parenthood")
Anything with a "hood" attached scares me, including my old Lincoln Town Car, so here and following will be thoughts on the mental high-wire act of writing semi-seriously while semi-seriously raising a child (young or old). Welcome are everyone's ruminations and advice.
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